I dictate my life and how I lead it

I’ve been meaning to write about my experience with long COVID but I have been distracted and quite frankly, trying my best to take it easy with life, not having to rush to do things if I don’t feel like it.

I didn’t even mean to share that I had COVID simply because it wasn’t a big deal - it was nothing and I was totally fine throughout, so I thought I would be so okay.

Boy was I wrong when I started having severe symptoms about 3-4 days post COVID when I collapsed at the office. Been having bouts of spells at 2 weeks interval for 6 weeks and monitoring myself for another 2 weeks to see if things are getting better or not.

So, with me being so quiet, not updating so much on social media because I had much more important stuff to face, I also didn’t update friends if I was coming home to KL. There was no meet up and I didn’t feel like seeing anyone. I think at a time like this, I just wanted to recuperate at home, have as much rest as I can and spend time with the family AT ALL TIMES. 

I don’t see the need to update anyone because real friends do not need to feel that I am obliged to do that as they can also send me a text to see if I am ok and breathing, right? But the fact that those who are just aquaintance not so much best friends have the gall to feel offended for my silence and then insinuating things have changed for “some” people, they’d be mad to think I’d respond to them on their social media post to make them feel so special. Who does this person think he is? I felt like laughing at such sucky drama.

I don’t pander to people, neither do I ever feel the need to explain myself. I only do that to my family. So go along feeling bitter while I straighten myself out for another 6 weeks, at least? 

I am hoping that that will be it for me, based on some information I got from the Net about long COVID - just 3-4 months tops. But over the weekend, a friend shared that she has been suffering from long COVID over a year now and there’s no seeing any light of recovery just yet.

For an experience like this, it makes me prioritise the family even more. I used to steal around 2-3 hours during the weekend from them just to catch up with some friends. I do have a lot of friends and I do treasure them a lot, although those closer to me have been those that I meet much more often. But since the ordeal with long COVID, I’m prioritising myself more, giving me more time to recuperate and recover from the hectic weekend of commuting [PEN->KUL->PEN], and then having to shift the mindset from late Sunday evening to prepare for a hectic week of work - there’s nobody more important than myself and nobody else could take care of myself if I don’t.

I don’t see many people sharing online about their symptoms from long COVID but then again, a lot of them do not link their health issues to post COVID. Even the doctors couldn’t say much about this since it’s such a new disease that there’s not much data about this to go about making any conclusions. The best explanation I got is that there’s an inflammation inside brought on by an infection like COVID, which anyone could also experience from any similar virus.

All I can say is, I am taking it easy for now and not feeling obliged to commit to anything that will make me experience further stress. Respect this.