15 beautiful years.

So, we had just celebrated our 15th anniversary last week and we had quite a scare just a few days before that.

It all started on a Wednesday evening as I had just returned from work and about to prepare myself a simple dinner. Got a call almost 8pm from the One telling me to calm down without giving me much information about what had just happened. Apparently, he doesn't even have the full details.

So, he said the kids were involved in an accident on the way back from school as their driver had a heart attack. A good samaritan called to inform that he's called an ambulance because by golly, "your kids need medical attention". Like yeah, I'm supposed to just calm down and wait? Like you don't know a mom?

I'm not one to easily panic. I'm calm but don't frikkin tell me to just wait. I don't wait neither do I like people to wait for me. Decision was a no-brainer, checked the Firefly app and managed to purchase the last flight of the day, at 10.10pm. 

Long story short, Grabbed to the hospital from Subang, saw LilJR given the thumbs up for release but LilJJ was still heavily sedated in the ER, with a neck brace and bloodied here and there.

It was a long night for us when finally LilJJ was given the sign of approval for release around 3.30am after the scans showed no critical or major injury. Still, she was in a daze, totally quiet and I could sense that she had totally shut us down from existence. Instantly all I could think of was whether she had developed PTSD.

The next 2 days was so tense with her as she cried all day not being able to speak. She slept for the entire 2 days and start crying every time she wakes up, pointing out that she's in pain and with a stiff neck. Truth be told, I guess we have to count our blessings because the children's lives were spared, they were protected when they were totally on their own in that very scary situation and that even I managed to come home in time - terribly late but I still managed to make it.

I somehow felt LilJJ was angry at me subconsciously but that's something I just need to manage.

We all tried to talk about it as LilJR shared his recollection about the incident and though LilJJ would just cry, she started opening up a little by Friday night and I decided that she needs to be in normalcy to be better, ie. get on with our usual activities like her art class, our movie night and getting back to school. 

Though her face was still swollen, wearing the mask made it easier for her to attend art class and after that she was back to her chatter-self again. Phew!!

Myself and the One also managed to have our planned anniversary dinner and we went out later than our usual dinner time so that we spend as much time with the kids until their bed time at 9pm and we went out then. They were really spent with the entire ordeal that they just slept.

We're both so fortunate that nothing untoward had happened and this is just a small setback to remind us how lucky we are to have each other. Not sure why but since we found each other, a lot of things had happened to us that made us realise that we're all that we've got and it's just us to carry the burden together. And we're so fortunate to be in the position where our choices are natural, that we don't have to plead to each other to do what we have to do in the relationship - no questions asked. Be here, be present.

15 years and I'm just blessed, never dreamt it being this way but then again we both work hard for us to have what we have now. Can't say that things just appeared out of nowhere - we made conscious choices when it comes to us and the children. We made informed choices to be here, to celebrate with a dinner and all that. It may not be perfect but we make it feel so perfect.

Reminiscing how it was before we met and then meeting each other made all those intense feelings reappear. It made me feel so strongly in love with him, just like how it felt on that fateful day at Monte's. I just want to reach out at that side of the table to hold and kiss his sweet face and thank him for taking notice of me, to love me the way I deserve to be loved and how perfect we are for each other.

So, I keep telling the One that we gotta play our part in this teamwork. And it's wrong to think he can handle it all by himself and think he's a hero. We only have each other and if he thought I'd just wait it out to hear about the kids that night - you seriously got to be joking. Obviously you still don't know me that well and how unfair it is to leave me hanging like that. Men and the way they process information is just super strange to me. So yeah, it's been 15 years and still not a clue.

Maybe all these happened as part of a lesson for us - it's a continuous process of life's surprises, so called. 

Wow. This is a long one, eh?