Is it tiredness or just plain lazy?

I had lots of things on my mind for a blog post since the last one, but I also realised that I may have too many things in my head that in the end, I don’t even remember what was that great topic or idea that I thought of, for me to start writing. And, that’s pretty frustrating.

I remember how it was back then when I started blogging circa 2005, things came so smoothly and I don’t have to think much. All the words came by so freely and I could just write whatever was in my heart. How easy that was! 

Now, I struggle to remember what was it that I was thinking the other day and when I let that slip by, I lost the momentum of writing every day. Sometimes I wish I have a tape recorder to record the voices in my head as I thought about the next interesting topic. In fact, I had committed to someone that I was gonna participate in this new venture of his where I’ll contribute 1 article a month on my area of expertise, based on personal experience. Gosh, I had so many ideas but now when it’s time for me to send him the framework, I look at those topics that I thought was so very interesting and am doubting myself - questioning myself why did I even accept that invitation to contribute? What have I done and do I want to jeopardise my reputation like that for not being able to deliver what I had earlier committed to?

Writer’s block, as they used to say.

But I also think it’s plain laziness. The past few weeks of intense stuff happening around me, made me so mentally exhausted. Oh and I forgot to mention that I lost 2 good friends in 2 days, one from ailments he already had in a while, while the other one, lost his battle with cancer. I feel that these are just excuses for me not to start writing but I really do feel exhausted. 

How much rest do I really need? When am I gonna start taking this seriously?

I am just tired.